Confessions

Each week I receive an email from Ali Edwards as part of the 52 Creative Lifts subscription. Yesterday’s email hit my inbox and it was like one of those Oprah “Ah ha!” moments:

{It’s a fabulous email and I highly recommend reading it. You can forward a copy of it to your email here.}

I’ve struggled the past year with comparing myself to others. OK, this post is titled “Confessions” so it’s more accurate to say that I’ve struggled with this my entire life. I’m not smart enough/funny enough/talented enough/insert whatever here.

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, then you’ve surely noticed a substantial decline in posting. While I’d like to say it’s because the blog is not in charge of my life it’s really more a matter of not feeling like I have anything to offer that measures up to whatever Everyone Else is doing. The Internet has gone from being a source of inspiration for me to one of constantly comparing myself — and feeling lacking.

But here’s the thing about comparing yourself to other people: You can’t value  your worth on someone else’s accomplishments. I have let so many opportunities slip through my fingers because I have not felt worthy or haven’t put forth the effort or just taken the chance. OK, that’s not 10o percent true, either. I have taken some chances and been rejected — and let that feed the fire of “you’re not worthy.”

It’s kind of a sucky cycle, you see.

So I’m giving myself a kick in the ass. I’m not going to measure myself against other people. I’m going to take a break from the social networking black hole which seems to suck me in and trap me in some unhealthy behavior. And I’m going to take charge of my life and really devote my energy to doing the things I love (crafting, teaching, writing) and see if I can’t make some of MY goals come to life. I’ll be blogging about what I’m doing and making again because I’ve missed it.

This is my life. It’s not perfect but it’s mine and I’m not wasting it.

7 Replies to “Confessions”

  1. You always awe me! Don’t stop being you! Have fun and enjoy. Life is too short to linger on minor setbacks. We all have them. Keep smiling and move forward with a smile on your face!

  2. So so so true! I find that if I haven’t created something I feel is post worthy, I am almost stressed about blogging. I judge myself so harshly that it stops being enjoyable. I get caught up in other peoples technical skills and compare myself negatively. I feel badly that I don’t have a good camera or rockin’ photo editing skills. I feel badly when I dont have the latest fabrics from the designers I admire. I feel badly that I am just not keeping up. But I have to remind myself why I do what I do. Do I make a cute outfit for my daughter because I want her to smile and feel loved or do I make a cute outfit for her so I can blog about it and receive positive comments? I have to remind myself to enjoy what I do because I love the people for whom I do it. The comparison game isn’t a good one to play sometimes. But for the record, I LOVE your creations. I can’t wait to see more of your costumes because I think you are amazing!

  3. It was interesting to read about your feelings for a couple of reasons. Technology has been a big subject around here lately, it’s so wonderful but also sometimes too much information and balance is so important. I am not a blogger by choice, not my thing. I do enjoy participating in blogland and on Flickr swaps. My Name Game mini-quilt swap came from Melissa at Happy Quilting. A blog I just so happen to read. I was in awe and it took a couple of days to open it, I got something from a person whose work I so admired. The funny thing was, after she read my very honest thank you in regards to that very subject she said she was humbled because she had been feeling inadequate in comparison to so many others. It just brings you back to the truth. You have to learn to be happy with yourself, and doing what makes you happy and fulfilled while admiring and learning from what others do.

  4. Ditto! I took a several month long break from blogging…and then found I missed it…and it’s fun again. I decided to craft for me and mine only…I still get inspiration from the web but only inspiration! Good luck!!!!!

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